Have you ever been hurtling through life, feeling like a hamster on a treadmill going a bit too fast - like you can't reach the stop button and forgot to attach the safety belt at the gym? About to fall flat on your face as you unceremoniously slide off the treadmill, if you're lucky enough not to be flung from it completely.
That's how I felt in the lead up to Christmas, I'd built momentum and didn't know how to stop. Thankfully Christmas arrived before I was flung from the treadmill of life and I safely retreated for a Christmas break to try and regain some inner balance.
Needless to say this lead to a short bout of illness, including ulcers and a cold at one point at the same time. Only now am I really starting to prioritise things and get back on track.
But this is why self-care is so massively important, regardless of what you do for work, or if you're a full-time parent. None of us can pour from an empty cup, and if you have any kind of mental health concerns then it's even more important that you take care of your well-being as you'll be quicker to suffer burnout and overwhelm.
So following a video on self-care I did back in November, I thought it would be useful to write this as a reminder.
You can also catch up on the video below
Below are my personal top tips for self-care and how you can integrate these or similar things into your busy life, to make self-care a priority.
Know when to say no!
How often do you find yourself being asked for help or being invited to something and before you even think "yes" or some form of it has slipped out of your mouth involuntarily? We've all been there, there's no shame here.
This simple knee-jerk reaction can lead to a lot of troubles though, we end up either making excuses to bail at the last minute or going along, or helping out that friend or family member, all the while feeling a growing sense of resentment for being there.
It drains energy, leaving you feeling exhausted and potentially burnt out.
If we can only stop to think about how we really feel about it first and taking the time to assess if we truly have the mental/emotional/time capacity, before deciding on our answer it can improve things massively. Not only for ourselves but for those around us, because if we aren't fully showing up then people will start to notice and it can be damaging to our relationships with those people.
So this is your get out of jail free card to stop beating yourself up and make sure you have the resources before saying yes. A simple "can I let you know?" will do nicely, and then be honest when you give an answer a couple of days later, you don't have to justify your answer, only give a detailed reason if you really want to, as you could unknowingly open yourself up to being persuaded if you aren't used to saying no, so be mindful of how much information you give.
Making time to play
This is so easily overlooked, we dash from one task to another work, gym, school runs, dinner, cleaning, to end up slumped on the sofa wondering where the day has gone. And before we know it, days, weeks, months...years! have flown by without time to relax and do something just for the fun of it, and if you're self-employed it's even harder to find a way to shut down out of work mode. Working from home has given many a taste of what this is like, working longer hours just because we didn't have to commute, meaning that before you know it the evenings and weekend has been swallowed up by work or other tasks as well.
While I'm nowhere near perfect at making time to play, my best advice for this is to schedule it in like you would anything else in your busy life. And stick to it!!
Take up that pottery class, creative writing, book club, night out with friends, whatever it is that peaks your interest and makes your heart feel light. Hell dance around the kitchen to your favourite tracks in your pj's it really doesn't matter, as long as it takes your mind off of the day to day stuff and gets you out of your head for a while.
If you aren't sure what that looks like for you, get curious. Try something and see how it feels, if you don't feel like doing it again, that's ok, move on to something else. It isn't so much about what you do, rather how it makes you feel.
which brings us to.....
Spending time with friends and family
We're all social creatures, whether we're introverts or extroverts, to some degree we need that interaction with others to help get us out of our heads and see things more objectively.
Often if we spend too much time alone up in our own head things can spiral and get out of hand quite quickly, the inner critic takes front and center stage, ramping up everything we worry about or think is wrong with us and the world.
When this gets out of hand over an extended period of time it can lead to anxiety, depression and mental places no one wants to be.
I know it's been difficult for many of us to get out and see people in person, and still is for some. So don't be shy about picking up the phone, if you miss someone, tell them.
Chances are, they could be feeling the same, possibly even wondering if anyone wants to reconnect after being disconnected from each other for so long.
Get a massage
This might be something that you think of as a luxury or on the same level as having a bubble bath, but hear me out on this..
Feeling skin starved (the single people will agree with me here) is a real thing!
We've already spoken about the need for social interactions, but that need to be held and touched in a caring and loving way like when your mum used to stroke your hair, back, foot, etc. All adds into our general sense of well-being and can also effect our self-esteem and confidence.
Getting a monthly massage is a game changer and helps you to feel more relaxed and able to handle stress easier. It's definitely on my list to do as soon as I'm able to.
But if you can't get to your local massage parlour then don't fear, I've got you!
Although it's not quite as good, you can do this for yourself as well. Taking time to stroke your arms and/or legs in a gentle loving way can start to help fulfil this need, you can also take the time to massage your own hands and/feet. You can also find self-reflexology videos online that will take you through the best way to get the most out of the time spent on this.
The whole point is to focus your attention on you, take your time, make sure you won't be disturbed and you'll soon start to notice what your body needs and learn ways of supporting yourself, which will also help boost your confidence and self-love/self-esteem at the same time.
Get enough sleep
This might seem like a no brainer, but when was the last time you got a full 8 hours sleep?
Getting good quality sleep helps with our mental health, brain fog, immune system, physical health and healing, as well as weight management... Did you know that getting enough sleep can actually help you to lose weight?
These are only a few of the benefits, and I won't go into them in great detail, but I think you get the point of why sleep is important.
This including a regular schedule and keeping you bedroom clean, tidy and a calm and relaxing environment, you can also read more in my previous post Sleep Health and why it's important
Drink more water
For our body to heal and do all of the amazing things it does for us on a daily basis we need to drink enough to keep it going as the body is made from around 60% water, this is especially important if your body is healing in any way as it stops scarring to ligaments and speeds up healing.
The recommended amount is 8 glasses a day, but the general thinking is that if you feel thirsty you are already dehydrated. Also if you aren't yet tapped into your body, you may confuse feeling thirsty with being hungry, so if you find yourself feeling hungry between meals try drinking a glass of water to see if you're actually thirsty.
Set a schedule
It might seem strange that I've included this at the end, but you need to have an idea of what to include before setting about changing your schedule and building more self-care into your life.
Get clear on what you want to include - This is where all the best plans come together, write it down, make a list or diagram, whatever you need to do to gain clarity on what's important to you.
Decide where you can fit it in - If you need to move things around or cut down on something that isn't fulfilling you to make time, then do it
Set reminders and put it into action - This can be the hardest part, but you are worth it and deserve the effort, if you can work your butt off at work and running around after everyone else, you can do this for you
If you don't think you can do it alone - I get it, our willpower isn't always at it's best and it can be easier to laze in front of the TV than get up and go out after a long day. While your pj's might seem like the more appealing option, it can help to have a friend or family member on board. Find someone who wants to work on this as well, and then do it together, hold each other accountable to take the steps needed
Looking after your appearance
This one has been covered many a time, but since we've become a nation of jogging bottom and sweatshirt wearers it's important to note how making an effort with how we look, has an impact on how we feel about ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for comfy clothes and you'll often find me vegging out in a onesie... But if done everyday for an extended period of time, it can start to erode how we see ourselves and perceive our attractiveness. When you couple that with not working out and eating more because, well, you know.. The fridge is only a few steps away from the sofa we've been working from or job hunting from. It becomes a recipe for disaster where self esteem is involved and this has the potential to effect our willingness to go out, which in turn impacts mental health and a whole new set of issues needing to be addressed.
Even if you don't leave the house, take the time to do all of your self-care maintenance and put on an outfit that makes you feel good, and have a get together with friends over a video call or meet up with close friends in person.
This can also be a great way to break up your work day, if you still go through the motions of getting up and ready for your day ahead before slipping into those much loved comfortable clothes at the end of the day, as this gives you a switching off point of when your work day ends and relaxation begins. This is especially important if you're self-employed or working from home, as it can be hard to know when one ends and the other begins.
If you've been meaning to get back to the gym or try a new workout at home, carve out the time to do it. The endorphins your body produces will leave you feeling more energised, lift your mood and help keep you healthy. If you need more motivation, ask a friend if they'd like to join you and cheer each other on, or meet up and go for a walk or bike ride together. Break out your favourite music and dance around your living room, do what feels good to move your body and music can uplift and energise you to take action as well.. The options are endless.
Taking time to relax
This leads nicely into taking time to relax, as without this things can quickly lead to burnout and mental fatigue.
Our brain and body needs time to play and think about less taxing things than hitting the next deadline or how to pay the bills next month, we aren't called human Beings for nothing.
Take time to Be, be present with your family and loved ones, take time for creative projects that have no monitory gain, draw, paint, laugh, share a meal or visit the cinema.
This can be linked with taking time to play, but relaxing is also about taking time to clear your mind or simply do nothing. We try and stuff so many things into the day, and forget that taking time to do nothing is important as well, as it gives our brains time to reboot and not have to constantly processing something. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, yoga and breathwork are all useful things to try, the key is to find what works for you, none of this is a one size fits all type of thing.
embrace your uniqueness and give things a try, keep what works for you and leave the rest, time changes us as we grow so there is also the possibility that what once worked no longer does and what didn't work before now does.
Life is an unfolding adventure, with twists, turns, highs and lows. Laugh often and love with a full heart, as no one can pour from an empty cup.
Until next time....
Love
Georgie x
Healing Moons
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